Omigosh I’m sorry, sorry, SORRY for leaving you hanging for so long.

My stress levels have been at their peak since before the trip to Seattle (largely work-related) to and I didn’t think it was possible but they have just ESCALATED.

For those of you dying to know, in short, the trip to was disastrous. We did NOT find bridesmaid dresses, or pants for the groomsmen or cute dresses even a frickin’ HOTEL ROOM in Seattle. Oh yes, you heard me right. It was a thoroughly depressing situation. We came home a day early.

But that’s a story for another day.

The other thing we did NOT find was backup shoes… which I did not think was a big deal since, as we all know, I fell in love and ordered those purple Louboutins from Net-A-Porter…

… until now!!! Because suddenly, YES, it IS a big deal!!

Because I got the lovely Louboutins finally.

And adored them.

Until I went to pull the stickers of the soles today.

The sticker on the right shoe was stuck on the sole underneath the ball of the foot. Normal.

The other one, however, was stuck wayyyy up by the heel.

Hmm, that’s weird, I thought.

Then I went to pull it off…

… and GAAAAASSSSPPPPPPPPPP…..

My darling purple Louboutin wedding shoes are… DEFECTIVE.

I am absolutely APPALLED that these shoes passed quality control. That sticker was placed way up there ON PURPOSE TO HIDE THE BIG GASH IN THE SOLE!

COME ON. You spend frickin’ $600 dollars on a pair of shoes… you expect them to be absolutely PERFECT, no??

Just when I had finally swept away all the the pain and suffering that came with convincing my fiance and my guilty conscience that I loved these shoes/needed these shoes/deserved these shoes, and had finally felt the joy that should come from a purchase that is totally frivolous and yet so amazing and for which I was soooo grateful… THIS HAPPENS.

I just sent an email to Net-A-Porter, complete with above photos, demanding–no, requesting (I’m saving my mean, nasty words for later in case I need them)–a replacement.

The thing is, I’m TERRIFIED that it’s been longer than the “7 days from receipt of shipment” that is noted in their return policy and that they might dare to refuse me.

And even MORE TERRIFYING is the fact that I’ve been monitoring their website over the past week and…

I am so nervous and stressed I feel like I am going to throw up.

I so did not need this to happen right now.

Any advice, anyone? Has this ever happened to you?? Any similar experiences with Net-A-Porter that you can share???

If they don’t have another pair left, do I shut my mouth and keep these ones, gash and all???